Why Would A Man Stay In A Sexless Marriage

Marriage is often associated with intimacy, love, and companionship. However, many couples experience a sexless marriage, where intimacy is infrequent or nonexistent. While some may assume that lack of physical intimacy would lead a man to leave the relationship, many men choose to stay despite their unmet needs.

This topic explores the reasons why a man might remain in a sexless marriage, covering emotional, financial, familial, and personal factors that influence his decision.

Table of Contents

Understanding a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage is commonly defined as a relationship where a couple has sex fewer than 10 times per year or not at all. While every marriage is different, physical intimacy plays a significant role in emotional connection and relationship satisfaction.

Common Causes of a Sexless Marriage

Medical Issues – Conditions like hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, or mental health disorders can reduce libido.
Emotional Disconnect – Lack of communication, unresolved conflicts, or resentment can lead to intimacy avoidance.
Busy Lifestyles – Stress from work, parenting, or other responsibilities can cause couples to deprioritize sex.
Different Libido Levels – One partner may have a higher sex drive, leading to frustration and emotional distance.

While both partners can struggle in a sexless marriage, men often face unique emotional and social challenges that make leaving a difficult decision.

Reasons Why a Man Stays in a Sexless Marriage

1. Deep Emotional Connection

Despite the absence of physical intimacy, many men deeply love their partners. Emotional bonds built over years of companionship, shared experiences, and support can outweigh sexual dissatisfaction.

He values companionship and emotional security.
He prioritizes emotional intimacy over physical needs.
He fears losing the emotional connection they’ve built.

For some men, the idea of rebuilding a new relationship from scratch is far more daunting than staying in an imperfect marriage.

2. Commitment to Family and Children

Family responsibilities often play a major role in a man’s decision to stay in a sexless marriage. Divorce or separation can have a profound impact on children’s well-being, and many men choose stability over personal fulfillment.

He doesn’t want to uproot his children’s lives.
He values the idea of a two-parent household.
He doesn’t want to risk losing custody or spending less time with his kids.

Even if he is unhappy, being present for his children and maintaining family unity can be more important than personal desires.

3. Financial Considerations

Divorce can be financially devastating, especially if the couple shares assets, properties, or debts. Some men stay in a sexless marriage to avoid:

High alimony or child support payments.
Losing shared assets (home, savings, investments).
Financial instability after a divorce.

For men who are the primary earners, leaving could mean significant financial burdens, making it more practical to stay.

4. Fear of Loneliness and Starting Over

The prospect of starting over in dating can be intimidating. Many men who have been married for years may feel:

Uncertain about the dating scene in their later years.
Worried about rejection or struggling to find a compatible partner.
Emotionally exhausted from the thought of rebuilding a new relationship.

For some, staying in a familiar but flawed marriage feels easier than navigating the uncertainties of being single again.

5. Social and Religious Pressures

Cultural, societal, and religious beliefs can strongly influence a man’s decision to stay in a sexless marriage. Many men feel:

Divorce is not an option due to religious values.
Social pressure to maintain appearances (family, friends, or community expectations).
Shame or guilt about leaving a long-term marriage.

Some cultures emphasize that marriage is a lifelong commitment, making separation feel like failure.

6. Hope That Things Will Improve

Some men stay because they believe their situation will eventually get better. They may:

Hope for medical or psychological treatment to restore intimacy.
Believe that marriage counseling will help fix underlying issues.
Expect that life circumstances (stress, parenting, health) will change, allowing intimacy to return.

This optimism keeps them invested in the relationship, even when intimacy is currently lacking.

7. Emotional Fulfillment from Other Sources

Not all men view sex as the most important aspect of a relationship. Some find fulfillment through:

Friendships and social connections.
Hobbies, sports, or career achievements.
Emotional intimacy through deep conversations and shared experiences.

For some, their emotional needs are met outside of the bedroom, making sex less critical to their overall happiness.

8. Fear of Hurting Their Partner

Some men avoid leaving because they don’t want to cause emotional pain to their spouse. They may feel:

Guilt over breaking their partner’s heart.
Responsible for their partner’s emotional well-being.
Worried that their spouse cannot cope with separation.

This sense of responsibility keeps them in the relationship, even when they are unfulfilled.

9. Infidelity as an Alternative

While not an ethical or ideal solution, some men remain in a sexless marriage while seeking intimacy elsewhere. This could involve:

Emotional affairs – Finding comfort in deep emotional connections with someone else.
Physical affairs – Secretly engaging in sexual relationships outside of marriage.
Open arrangements – In rare cases, couples agree on outside intimacy while staying married.

For some, this allows them to preserve the marriage for its other benefits while fulfilling their sexual needs elsewhere.

Is Staying in a Sexless Marriage the Right Choice?

Every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Staying in a sexless marriage can work if:

Both partners maintain a strong emotional connection.
They find alternative ways to feel fulfilled in the relationship.
They are willing to communicate and seek help through therapy or counseling.

However, if a man feels deeply unhappy, resentful, or emotionally neglected, staying can lead to:

Depression and self-esteem issues.
Increased conflict and resentment toward their spouse.
Emotional detachment and loneliness.

How to Address a Sexless Marriage

If a man wants to improve his marriage rather than leave, some steps include:

Open Communication – Expressing needs and concerns in a non-blaming way.
Seeking Therapy – Couples counseling can help address intimacy issues.
Exploring Medical Solutions – If health issues are involved, seeking professional help is key.
Rekindling Emotional Connection – Engaging in activities that rebuild emotional closeness.
Setting Realistic Expectations – Accepting that intimacy may look different at different life stages.

A man may stay in a sexless marriage for many reasons, including love, commitment to family, financial concerns, fear of loneliness, or personal values. While intimacy is an important part of marriage, it is not the only factor that determines a relationship’s success.

For those facing this challenge, communication, counseling, and mutual understanding can help improve the situation. However, if staying leads to unhappiness, resentment, or emotional detachment, it’s important to reevaluate whether the marriage is truly fulfilling in the long run.