A quarrelsome husband can create tension, disharmony, and emotional distress in a marriage. The Bible offers wisdom on how to handle conflict in relationships, particularly within marriage. While many biblical passages address quarrelsome wives, the principles about anger, strife, and peace apply equally to husbands.
This topic explores what the Bible says about a quarrelsome husband, the consequences of constant arguments, and biblical advice for fostering peace in marriage.
1. What Is a Quarrelsome Husband?
A quarrelsome husband is a man who is frequently argumentative, critical, and prone to anger. He often creates unnecessary conflict instead of promoting peace in his marriage.
A. Definition of Quarrelsome
The word ‘quarrelsome’ means inclined to argue, dispute, or provoke fights. A quarrelsome person seeks conflict rather than resolution.
B. Characteristics of a Quarrelsome Husband
The Bible describes quarrelsome individuals as:
- Quick to anger (Proverbs 14:17)
- Contentious and harsh with words (Proverbs 15:1)
- Lacking self-control (Proverbs 29:11)
- Causing division instead of peace (Titus 3:10)
These traits damage relationships and create a toxic home environment.
2. Bible Verses About a Quarrelsome Husband
The Bible warns against anger, conflict, and strife, providing wisdom on the importance of self-control and peace.
A. Quarreling Leads to Destruction
- Proverbs 29:22 (KJV) – ‘An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.’
- A husband who is constantly angry and argumentative invites problems into his marriage.
B. Harsh Words Damage a Marriage
- Proverbs 15:1 (KJV) – ‘A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.’
- Words have power. A quarrelsome husband often speaks harshly, creating tension instead of love.
C. A Quarrelsome Man Is Difficult to Live With
- Proverbs 21:19 (KJV) – ‘It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.’
- While this verse mentions a quarrelsome wife, the same principle applies to a husband. A man who constantly argues makes his home a place of stress instead of peace.
D. A Hot-Tempered Man Lacks Wisdom
- Ecclesiastes 7:9 (KJV) – ‘Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.’
- A husband who constantly argues without control is acting foolishly.
These verses highlight the serious impact of a quarrelsome attitude and the importance of patience and wisdom.
3. The Consequences of a Quarrelsome Husband
A husband who is constantly argumentative and angry can harm his marriage, his family, and his spiritual life.
A. It Creates Distance in Marriage
- Proverbs 17:1 (KJV) – ‘Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than a house full of sacrifices with strife.’
- A quarrelsome husband pushes his wife away, making the marriage feel cold and distant.
B. It Affects Children and Family
- Colossians 3:21 (KJV) – ‘Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.’
- A husband and father who constantly argues creates a stressful home environment that can negatively impact his children.
C. It Damages His Relationship With God
- James 1:20 (KJV) – ‘For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.’
- A man who is always quarrelsome cannot grow spiritually because his anger prevents him from following God’s will.
A quarrelsome husband hurts himself, his family, and his relationship with God.
4. How to Overcome a Quarrelsome Attitude
The Bible provides guidance on how a husband can change his quarrelsome nature and build a peaceful marriage.
A. Seek Wisdom and Self-Control
- Proverbs 16:32 (KJV) – ‘He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.’
- A wise man learns self-control and avoids unnecessary arguments.
B. Speak With Kindness
- Ephesians 4:29 (KJV) – ‘Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.’
- A husband should use words that uplift his wife rather than tear her down.
C. Practice Patience and Humility
- James 1:19 (KJV) – ‘Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.’
- Listening more and speaking less helps prevent unnecessary quarrels.
D. Pursue Peace in the Home
- Romans 12:18 (KJV) – ‘If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.’
- A godly husband works to create a peaceful and loving home.
E. Pray for Strength and Change
- Philippians 4:6-7 (KJV) – ‘Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.’
- A husband who struggles with a quarrelsome spirit should seek God’s help in prayer.
By applying these biblical principles, a husband can change his ways and build a stronger, healthier marriage.
5. A Wife’s Role in Dealing With a Quarrelsome Husband
If a husband is quarrelsome, a wife can respond with wisdom and grace to help bring peace to the home.
A. Respond With Patience and Prayer
- 1 Peter 3:1 (KJV) – ‘Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.’
- A gentle and patient response can sometimes soften a quarrelsome husband’s heart.
B. Avoid Engaging in Arguments
- Proverbs 15:18 (KJV) – ‘A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.’
- Instead of arguing back, a wife can choose to remain calm and defuse tension.
C. Encourage Him With Love and Respect
- Ephesians 5:33 (KJV) – ‘Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.’
- Showing respect and love can encourage a husband to change his behavior.
A wife cannot force her husband to change, but through patience, prayer, and godly wisdom, she can influence the atmosphere of the home.
A quarrelsome husband creates conflict and disrupts the peace of a marriage. The Bible warns against anger, strife, and constant arguing, emphasizing the importance of self-control, patience, and kindness.
Key Takeaways:
- A quarrelsome husband causes tension and strife in the home.
- The Bible teaches that anger and conflict damage relationships.
- A godly husband seeks peace, speaks with kindness, and controls his temper.
- A wife can respond with patience, wisdom, and prayer to encourage change.
By following biblical principles, a husband can transform his behavior, build a loving marriage, and honor God in his family life.