Humiliation is a powerful tool used by some individuals to control, manipulate, or hurt others. Whether in the workplace, school, or personal relationships, encountering someone who likes to humiliate others can be deeply damaging. These people use public embarrassment, insults, or sarcasm to make others feel small.
But why do they do it? What psychological factors drive their behavior? More importantly, how can you protect yourself from their toxic influence? This topic explores the motives behind humiliating behavior, its effects, and strategies to handle such individuals.
Why Do Some People Humiliate Others?
Humiliating others is often a sign of underlying personal issues. Here are some common reasons why people engage in this toxic behavior.
1. A Desire for Power and Control
Some people feel powerful when they bring others down.
By humiliating others, they establish dominance in social or professional settings.
This behavior is common among manipulative bosses, toxic friends, or abusive partners.
2. Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem
A person who lacks confidence might humiliate others to feel better about themselves.
Making others feel weak gives them a false sense of superiority.
Instead of improving themselves, they tear others down to mask their own fears and weaknesses.
3. Past Trauma or Learned Behavior
Some people humiliate others because they were once victims of humiliation themselves.
They may believe that humiliating others is a normal way to communicate or gain respect.
This pattern is often seen in bullying behaviors passed down through families or workplaces.
4. Jealousy and Resentment
People who feel jealous of others’ success may try to undermine their achievements through humiliation.
Instead of supporting or celebrating others, they use mockery or cruel jokes.
For example, a jealous coworker might make fun of a colleague’s promotion to minimize their success.
5. Narcissistic or Sociopathic Traits
Some individuals lack empathy and enjoy seeing others suffer.
They use humiliation as a tool for manipulation and emotional control.
Narcissistic individuals, in particular, often humiliate others to maintain their inflated self-image.
Common Tactics Used by People Who Humiliate Others
Understanding how humiliation is used can help you recognize and protect yourself from toxic behavior.
Public Embarrassment – They criticize or mock others in front of a group to maximize the impact.
Sarcasm and Mockery – They use ‘jokes’ or sarcasm to belittle others while pretending it’s harmless.
Dismissing Others’ Feelings – When confronted, they say things like ‘You’re too sensitive.’
Pointing Out Flaws or Mistakes – They highlight weaknesses in an exaggerated way.
Gaslighting – They manipulate the situation to make the victim doubt their own feelings or reality.
Bringing Up Past Failures – They remind people of their past mistakes to undermine their confidence.
Recognizing these behaviors early can help you take action before they cause serious emotional harm.
The Impact of Humiliation on Others
Being constantly humiliated can have long-term effects on a person’s mental, emotional, and even physical well-being.
1. Loss of Self-Esteem
Repeated humiliation can shatter a person’s confidence.
The victim may start believing the negative things said about them.
Over time, this can lead to self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness.
2. Anxiety and Stress
The fear of being humiliated again creates constant anxiety.
Victims may withdraw from social interactions to avoid further embarrassment.
This can lead to social isolation and depression.
3. Damaged Personal and Professional Relationships
People who are humiliated often lose trust in others.
They may become less willing to express themselves due to fear of being mocked.
In workplaces, this behavior can create a toxic environment and lower productivity.
4. Depression and Emotional Trauma
Long-term humiliation can lead to serious mental health issues, including depression.
Some victims develop negative coping mechanisms such as self-harm or substance abuse.
Humiliation is not just a momentary experience-it can have deep emotional scars.
How to Handle Someone Who Humiliates You
If you are dealing with someone who constantly humiliates you, here are effective ways to protect yourself.
1. Stay Calm and Collected
Do not let them see that their words affect you.
Respond with confidence instead of reacting emotionally.
For example, if someone mocks you in public, stay composed and reply firmly:
‘I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way.’
2. Set Boundaries
Let the person know that their behavior is unacceptable.
If necessary, reduce or cut off contact with them.
If a boss or coworker humiliates you, speak to HR or a trusted supervisor.
3. Call Out Their Behavior
If they disguise insults as “jokes,” ask: ‘Why do you think that’s funny?’
This forces them to reflect on their words.
Many bullies back down when confronted directly.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Build relationships with people who respect and uplift you.
A strong support system helps counteract the negative effects of humiliation.
Confidence grows when you are surrounded by encouragement instead of criticism.
5. Seek Professional Help if Needed
If the humiliation affects your mental health, consider talking to a therapist.
A professional can help you rebuild self-esteem and develop coping strategies.
If workplace humiliation is severe, legal action may also be an option.
How to Stop Yourself from Humiliating Others
Sometimes, people humiliate others without realizing it. If you recognize this behavior in yourself, here’s how to change:
Think Before Speaking – Ask yourself if your words are helpful or hurtful.
Develop Empathy – Try to understand others’ feelings before making comments.
Apologize When Necessary – If you realize you’ve hurt someone, take responsibility and apologize.
Encourage Instead of Criticize – Offer constructive feedback instead of public humiliation.
Improve Your Own Self-Confidence – Often, people humiliate others due to their own insecurities.
Making small changes can help create a more positive and respectful environment for everyone.
People who humiliate others often do so out of insecurity, a need for control, or past trauma. While their behavior can be hurtful, recognizing their tactics helps protect yourself from emotional harm.
By staying confident, setting boundaries, and surrounding yourself with positivity, you can minimize their influence over you. If necessary, seeking professional guidance can help rebuild self-esteem and emotional well-being.
At the end of the day, respect and kindness always lead to stronger relationships and a healthier environment.