The word quarrelsome refers to someone who is argumentative, contentious, or prone to conflict. In the Bible, being quarrelsome is often seen as a negative trait, associated with pride, anger, and division. Instead, believers are encouraged to pursue peace, humility, and understanding in their relationships.
This topic explores the meaning of being quarrelsome in the Bible, biblical warnings about strife, examples of quarrelsome individuals, and how Christians can avoid being quarrelsome.
1. Definition of Quarrelsome in the Bible
What Does Quarrelsome Mean?
The term quarrelsome describes a person who is quick to argue, easily provoked, and enjoys conflict. It is often used interchangeably with words like contentious, combative, or confrontational.
The Bible warns against a quarrelsome nature because it leads to division, hostility, and destruction in relationships. Instead, believers are called to be peacemakers who promote love and unity.
Quarrelsome vs. Righteous Disagreement
- Quarrelsome behavior stems from pride, anger, and selfish ambition.
- Righteous disagreement is based on seeking truth, correcting with love, and pursuing peace.
The Bible teaches that it is not wrong to stand for truth, but how a person argues matters.
‘A fool’s lips bring strife, and his mouth invites a beating.’
(Proverbs 18:6)
This verse highlights that quarrelsome people bring trouble upon themselves and others.
2. Biblical Warnings About Being Quarrelsome
A. Quarrelsomeness Leads to Division
The Bible repeatedly warns that arguments and conflicts destroy relationships, families, and even churches.
‘A hot-tempered person stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute.’
(Proverbs 15:18)
This verse contrasts a quarrelsome person with someone who seeks peace and self-control.
B. The Danger of Foolish Arguments
The Bible advises believers to avoid foolish and meaningless arguments, as they do not lead to spiritual growth.
‘But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels.’
(2 Timothy 2:23)
This shows that quarreling over unimportant matters is a waste of time and damaging to faith.
C. Quarrelsome Behavior in the Church
Even in the early church, there were issues with quarrels and divisions. Paul warned believers to avoid disputes that distract from the gospel.
‘If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words.’
(1 Timothy 6:3-4)
This passage warns that some people seek arguments not for truth, but out of pride and arrogance.
3. Biblical Examples of Quarrelsome People
A. Cain – A Heart of Anger
Cain, the first son of Adam and Eve, became jealous and angry when God favored Abel’s offering. Instead of controlling his quarrelsome spirit, he murdered his brother.
‘Cain was very angry, and his face fell… And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.’
(Genesis 4:5-8)
Cain’s anger and inability to resolve conflict led to destruction and separation from God.
B. The Israelites – Constant Complaints and Strife
The Israelites, despite witnessing God’s miracles, were quarrelsome and complained frequently.
‘Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?’
(Exodus 17:3)
Their constant disputes with Moses and God showed a lack of trust and contentment.
C. The Pharisees – Seeking Arguments Rather Than Truth
The Pharisees were known for their quarrelsome nature, constantly challenging Jesus to trap Him.
‘Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, ‘Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders?”
(Matthew 15:1-2)
They focused on legalistic debates rather than genuine faith in God.
4. How to Avoid Being Quarrelsome
A. Pursue Peace and Humility
Instead of seeking conflict, believers are called to pursue peace and humility in their relationships.
‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.’
(Matthew 5:9)
A peacemaker does not ignore truth but approaches disagreements with wisdom and love.
B. Be Slow to Anger
The Bible emphasizes the importance of self-control and patience in communication.
‘Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.’
(James 1:19)
By being slow to anger, a person can prevent unnecessary arguments.
C. Speak with Kindness and Grace
Words have power. A quarrelsome tongue can destroy, while gracious speech can heal.
‘A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’
(Proverbs 15:1)
Choosing gentle and wise words can de-escalate conflict and promote understanding.
D. Avoid Arguments That Lead to Nowhere
Some debates serve no purpose and only create division. Paul warned against engaging in fruitless quarrels.
‘Do not get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights.’
(2 Timothy 2:23)
Instead of arguing, believers should focus on building others up in faith.
E. Rely on the Holy Spirit
Only through God’s help can a person overcome a quarrelsome nature.
‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.’
(Galatians 5:22-23)
By seeking God’s wisdom, a person can develop patience, kindness, and self-control.
The Bible teaches that a quarrelsome nature leads to division, destruction, and spiritual harm. Scripture warns believers to avoid unnecessary arguments, control their anger, and pursue peace.
Instead of being quarrelsome, Christians are called to be peacemakers, speak with grace, and focus on unity. By following biblical principles of humility, patience, and love, believers can overcome a spirit of conflict and live in harmony with others.